• Category Archives Favorite things
  • What Women Want

    Here we go. Yes, I am going to attempt to solve the mystery that has plagued mankind since Adam first awoke with Eve by his side. Though men may think women unfathomable, in reality, what they want is actually very simple. Unfortunately, birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day, and many days in between pass without women feeling important and loved, and men are left clueless as to where they went wrong. To make it easy for my own husband and all men in general, I have created the definitive list of what women want. This way, a man should never wonder what to get the women in his life to show his love. If you are a man searching for the perfect gift for your significant other, you are in the right place. If you are a woman, feel free to adapt my list to create your own or just forward the list or link to your own guy.  Hopefully, solving the great mystery will lead to greater understanding that extends in all directions. Shoot, let’s aim for world peace, too! 😉

    Before my husband, Brian, and I had children, he gave me a wonderful birthday gift. I was teaching elementary school and had spent all day in parent/teacher conferences. When I’d finished my last official conference, he showed up at school and announced that he was whisking me away to a fancy hotel. He’d already packed my things and spoken to my principal, asking if I could leave a little early. I typically don’t like surprises, but this one was amazing. My tough, dragon lady of a principal was reduced to mush at my husband’s thoughtfulness, and we left the school with the envious gazes of all of my coworkers trailing behind.

    Another time, before we were married, Brian wanted to plan a date, but we didn’t have much money. He stopped at a restaurant, bought two pieces of my favorite pie, and took me up to a park overlooking the city. It was very romantic, and we ate pie and talked about everything and nothing.

    Of course, things often change and become more difficult after you have kids, but Brian has still managed to give me meaningful gifts. One year, he took all of the kids shopping and let them each pick out a piece of jewelry for me. I loved knowing that they each chose something for me, and they were so proud. Even today, whenever I wear that jewelry, they smile and remember how they chose it.

    Another year, Brian got me a new set of sheets for our bed because he knows I love clean sheets. Last Christmas, Brian surprised me with a Mother’s ring that held a birthstone for each of my children. At some point, I had mentioned that I would someday like a Mother’s ring, but it wasn’t on my “list.” Until I opened the box and found the ring inside, I didn’t even realize that he’d paid attention when I’d said it.

    So, what do all of these gifts have in common? Why do they stick in my memory as meaningful? What reduced my principal and coworkers to mush? What about them made me feel so loved and special? In reality, it isn’t the actual gifts at all. The secret is that, to a woman, the gift she loves most isn’t the physical gift, it is the thought and plan that goes into making the gift real.

    It doesn’t matter what the gift is. If you want to do something special for a woman, have a plan. Don’t wait to the last minute. Her birthday is too late. Christmas Eve is too late. If you’re asking her what she wants to do on Mother’s Day or another day that is supposed to be special, you’ve already failed. You can definitely ask her opinion, but do it long before the event and phrase it like “I’m doing this. Would you rather this or that?” Women are self-sacrificing. If you wait until the day of, have no plan, and then ask me what I’d like, the answer is that I’d like nothing. At that point, a woman feels like a burden who wasn’t important enough to plan for, and we don’t want anyone to do something for us that is work and that he doesn’t truly want to do. We don’t want to be an inconvenience. We want others to want to do something for us. Even enjoy planning or giving us something, hoping to make us happy.

    We don’t really care what the “it” is. Even if doing something means just staying home and playing games with family. The gift is being important enough to be planned for. The fact that someone cares enough to make a plan and try to do something I would like is of far more value than the actual something. It’s the thought and effort that speaks love. That’s what a woman hears every time. If there is no thought or effort, that speaks just as loudly.

    My husband is amazing. He is thoughtful, and I am so very blessed to be loved by him. He has made me feel so very special and loved with some of the examples I gave. And I have countless others I could share as well. But no one gets a home run every time. He gets busy and distracted, and sometimes he gets so focused on wanting something to be special that he forgets that special doesn’t need to be big. He always asks me for a list for holidays, and it frustrates him if my list is sparse, late, or I can’t really think of anything big. So, I decided to come up with the ultimate, comprehensive list of “What Women Want.” That way, hopefully he can understand the truth of what is special to me. What says, “I love you,” is the plan and thought behind any gift or activity. It is knowing that I am important enough that he has paid attention and taken the time out of his insanely busy schedule to think of me and plan something in an effort to make me happy.

    And I’m sharing that list with you. I think that most women feel the same way I do, but sometimes we struggle to put all of the feelings of frustration, love, and longing into words. So here you go. Let me know what you think and what you like. If you have any other suggestions to go on the definitive list, please share! It, like all of us, is definitely a work in progress. Here’s hoping you get exactly what you want for Christmas!

    For the record, here are the things that a woman enjoys and will always work for gifts:

    1.Things the kids (or grandkids) pick out—like jewelry or candy.

    2. (Chocolate. If she likes chocolate, this is always a good idea. Another tip: pay attention to what she likes and make sure you keep her favorite chocolate, or candy, on hand. If she’s mad, toss chocolate in the room before attempting to speak to her.) 

    3. Small things like nice pens, office supplies (sticky notes), nice-smelling hand soaps or a specialty candle. Flowers are always good. What’s her favorite? A live plant, roses, daisies?

    4. Pajamas. Please note, this does NOT mean lingerie. Lingerie is a gift for a guy’s benefit. Instead, get her comfy pjs, a new pair of her favorite slippers, or a plush robe. Need help choosing? Phone a friend. Ask one of her friends, sisters, daughters, or mom.

    5. A gift card or cash that is given with the specific instruction to use this much on choosing clothes for herself. (Bonus points if you combine this with #11 below.)

    6. Fixing something that is broken. Lightbulbs, drawers, anything little and big. Or making arrangements to have something fixed. Write it in a card and tell her what you did and why.

    7. Finishing a project around the house that has been in process for a while. Women love it when men are handy and fix or finish projects!

    8. Planning and making dinner or desert. Make something she likes. Have a plan. Get all the food and supplies before the day of the dinner.

    9. A date with all of the arrangements made and on the calendar. Childcare taken care of, work taken off. The plan should to be in place so she doesn’t need to answer any questions about where to go or what to do.

    • A note about surprises: some women don’t like surprises. It’s totally fine to ask her beforehand to reserve a date on the calendar and say you’re planning to take her out. You don’t need to give her all of the details. Knowing what’s coming and that you’re doing the planning should be enough.

    10. Something you’ve noticed her liking or needing. Maybe her bedside lamp is broken or she needs new socks. Maybe she’d really love to get family pictures and you’ve been dragging your feet. Maybe there’s a movie or concert that she mentioned wanting to see. The important thing is to pay attention to her!

    11. Something that is uniquely her. Maybe she loves coffee or books, and you could get her a gift card. (If you need an idea of books she’d like, I can probably help you with that!) Maybe she loves crafting or art and you can give her a craft supply store gift card or pay for a class. Maybe she’s always cold and would love a warm, fluffy blanket. If you aren’t completely sure and are nervous about scheduling, ask her opinion! Talking about it is completely fine. She’ll like that you’re interested. Just do it before the big day!

    12. Time—arrange for her time for herself or with her friends.

              Ideas:

    • I have a friend whose husband pays for her to go to a hotel one night by herself every year.
    • Watch the kids for a full day so she can do whatever she wants.
    • Some women would prefer a girls’ day with family or friends. Talk to her friends and arrange for                    them to take her out shopping, for dinner, movie, or some other activity. Better yet, pay for it.
    • Even better, combine this with #4, #5 or #6 and fix something or finish a project while she is gone!

    ***Big takeway. It doesn’t matter what you do or get. Whether you’re wanting to make your wife, significant other, mother, sister, daughter, or any other woman in your life feel special, pay attention, think of her, and plan beforehand. It is the time and effort you invest for her that is the actual gift. And if you actually enjoy doing it, well, she might just melt to the floor right there and declare you her hero for cracking the code on one of the great mysteries in life.

     

    What about you? What is your favorite gift you’ve received? What gifts do you like best? Care to add anything to the list???


  • A Few of My Favorite Things (Part 3)

    And here we are, at the end of my list of favorite things (for now). If you’re just tuning in, you can get caught up on the other posts in this series by clicking on these links for Part 1 and Part 2.

    This is a list of my not-so-ordinary favorite things. These are things that are unique, maybe a little strange and ridiculous, but when I encounter them, they give me a surge of joy for an almost unexplainable reason. Here are four more making the favorite things cut!

     

    * Thunderstorms *

    Now I only enjoy these from the inside. Definitely not from someplace like the middle of a river, in a float tube, when there is nowhere to get out. (Yes, that’s happened.) However, thunderstorms always remind me how big and powerful God is, and how small I am in comparison. The knowledge that little me is safe from the lightning and thunder fills me with a curious comfort and happiness.

     

    * Fresh Peaches *

    I love a lot of different kinds of fruit. Strawberries are some of my favorites, but nothing quite compares to a fresh peach. In August, we usually end up getting several boxes of peaches from a local orchard. I don’t can them or freeze them, or make jam (though I probably should). I eat them. Sweet, melt-in-your-mouth goodness that makes you think that happiness really does taste like peaches.

     

    * Mispronunciations*

    I have already mentioned that nearly everything to do with my children should technically be on my favorite things list. But this one is rather unique and specific, so I thought I’d go ahead and list it.

    I love it when my kids mispronounce something.

    With my older kids, it is usually because they have read something and just didn’t know how to pronounce what they knew how to read. With my 4-yea-old, it’s just because he’s learning, and cute, and his speech is still developing. His tongue just can’t quite get around on some words.

    When my oldest was little, I was “Monny,” and I loved it. My 2nd son had some great ones a well. He liked battalion (Italian) dressing on his salad, and he talked about lasterday (yesterday), which is how I acquired my pen name for my childrens’ books (J. Lasterday).

    A few weeks ago, we were making hamburgers and hot dogs for dinner. We made a hot dog for my 4-year-old, and he decided he didn’t want one. My husband asked me why I had made a hotdog for him, and I said I didn’t think he’d eat a hamburger. Then, said 4-year-old looked up at me with his big blue eyes and asked if he could have a ham-bo-burger. I then turned to my husband and said, “If I knew he was going to pronounce it like that, I would have told you to make him about ten of them!”

    I never correct my little ones on their pronunciation, though I will (reluctantly) tell the correct pronunciation to save my older kids the potential embarrassment. But for the younger ones, those cute little things are so very fleeting. Very soon, we won’t have hambobugers in our house, and I won’t even know when they’ll go away. So I will take as many hamboburgers as I can get him to eat and capture that thrill of hearing him, hoping it will last a little longer for when we have to eat plain old hamburgers.

     

    * Flowers *

    I love them. I love them outside. I love them when my husband surprises me with a bouquet. I love them when my 7-year-old picks dandelions and whatever he can find and puts them in a little vase I keep for him above my kitchen sink. I’ve loved them since I was a child and kept my mom and grandma supplied with roses, tulips, lilies, and lilacs, carefully picked and arranged for their dining tables, and I’ll probably still love them when I’m too old to remember why I love them so.

     

    This last one brings me to one of the projects I am working on. It is a book that has something to do with flowers. (Don’t you love how specific I am?) For some of the advertising and promotions I have planned, I need fun stories, jokes, or quotes that have to do with flowers. If you have any of these, let me know! I can hopefully share more about my “flower project” soon!

    What about you? Can you relate to my favorite things, or do you just think I’m really weird for liking things like crinkled potato chips and thunderstorms? Are there any strange things that you adore?


  • A Few of My Favorite Things

     

    There are certain things in life that I love. I’m not talking about the big things or the typical things. I love my children. I love their faces, the way their dimples pop out when they smile, and the sound of their laughter. I love going on a special date night with my husband. So, yes, those are some of my favorite things, but what I’m really referring to is the quirky little things that, even on a really bad day, give me a little squirt of joy just because.

    So I already know they are unique. For sure they would fit in very well with Julie Andrews’ list of favorite things in “The Sound of Music.” Maybe they are a little weird. But here is a list of a few of my favorite things:

     

    * Trees that overhang the streets *

    I especially like if the leaves meet overhead as if in an embrace. I get a little thrill when my car drives through the shady tunnel. It’s so pretty and something about it makes me feel as if the world of storybooks and fantasy may just be at the end of the street.

    * Crinkled potato chips *

    I have no idea if anyone else in the world (besides my sister) has this affinity, but I only like to eat the crinkled potato chips. I know that technically they taste no different, but I will sit with a bag and pick out the crinkled ones. If I find a super big, super ugly crinkled mess of a potato chip? That makes me extra happy.

    *** Please note: The chips in the above picture are not potato chips. They are tortilla chips. I searched my lone bag of barbecue potato chips to find that there were none that were crinkled. I’d already eaten them all. So I put that bag down and searched the tortilla chips, which I also like. I took a picture of some lovely crinkled ones, which tasted delicious.

     

    * Twilight *

    There is a moment before the sun dips past the horizon. It isn’t really sunset because sunset can last a lot longer than this moment. But when the sun reaches this point, the world is filled with a unique, filtered light. Often here, it’s a pinkish glow that bathes the foothills. This moment doesn’t happen every night. Maybe that’s why I love it so. When I was a teenager, I would take off on my bike around sunset, hoping to catch that moment where the world seems wrapped in a brief stillness, and we hold our breath to savor the beauty of a extra0ordinary moment that fades into ordinary before you can be sure it was there.

    * Christmas stories *

    A couple years ago, when I was on bed-rest when expecting my daughter, I went through every Christmas romance movie Netflix had. I guess I never realized how much I love them. Sure, some of them were so very cheesy that they make you cringe, but I still watched and enjoyed them. Maybe it’s the magic of romance combined with the magical time of year. Add a great message, and I love it extra.

     

    This one is really what got me started on this blog series. One of my books, “The Christmas Card,” is part of a Christmas in July sale. Every Christmas Romance book on this list is currently 99 cents, but won’t be for long. Snag a few for now and a few for later. And if you haven’t read “The Christmas Card,” now is your chance. I’m hoping the sequel will be out before Christmas. Maybe you’ll read it, love it, and be able to add it to your own favorite things list!

    To check out the sale, click on the image directly above or check out the link HERE.

     

    When I thought of this post, I didn’t know that I was about to have some very difficult things happen that would leave me with feelings of grief, confusion, and frustration. But even on my worst days, I can encounter one of my favorite little things and know that while life can be difficult, God can give us enough of the simple joys to know that He is still there even when we can’t see other evidence of His presence. Some days I may be upset, but I can still be thankful and happy for a nicely crinkled potato chip.

    I originally thought this post would be a relatively short one, but then I found it to be way too long, so why not do a few days of my favorite things? You can also let me know a few of your unique favorite things, and maybe I’ll include them in a post as well!

    Check back tomorrow for what is next on my favorite things list. Also, please share some of the unique things you love! You can comment below, send me an email, or message me on Facebook!

    Are your favorite things as strange as mine???